I will be quiet for 10 days straight in june!

On 2017/04/03 by Patrik Appelquist

Are you ever quiet? Is your life ever still for a second? Do you ever stop and think for a while? Or are you constantly doing things, feeding your brain with articles online, Facebook feeds, Instagram photos of cute cats, podcasts, movies, musts and what not? When did you sit still for 2 hours just thinking the last time? Have you ever done it? Do you even dare doing it?

We´ll I´m the first to admit that I´m one of you guys. I´m doing the same thing. I feed myself with information pretty well 24/7. I´m a super curious guy and I´m so hungry to learn new things. Like now when I´m studying trading on my free time (which atm is 24/7). I could have been lying on the beach drinking coconuts not giving a fuck, but I don´t because I´m so eager to learn new things. I don´t even want to take a break. I listen to economy podcasts on the way to the office (McDonalds here in Leon Nicaragua), I spend the whole day studying and reading about trading, then I listen to a podcast on the way home again. In the evening I´m preparing the next days trades. Repeat.

The thing is that I´ve become very good at sorting out the crap. I choose what I want to consume and I try to block all the things I´m not interested in. This means I´m a very effective consumer of information. But, I´m still consuming all the time. I´m basically an information junkie. I sometimes feel restless when I don´t have any new Instagram photos to watch or no podcasts to listen to. Sometimes I find myself browsing through my apps in my phone, searching for something interesting to do. So so restless. Always looking for that fix of information or just something to stimulate my poor brain. It´s horrible when I think about it.

That´s also why I love physical work. If you´ve been following me on my journey in the states you saw me helping out in a off grid community chopping woods and stuff. It´s so great and I love it because I´m so present when doing it. I´m there using my body of flesh and bones for a good purpose. I´m there and I appreciate the moment. I feel very much alive when doing it. All of a sudden I start to think about things, my things, my thoughts. Not somebody else´s thoughts packaged into a Youtube clip or a Facebook article. Sometimes it´s just so nice to be with myself. With my own thoughts without anything distracting it. I tend to think a lot about life, how I want to live my life, I think about my family, my childhood, all the opportunities in this world, how I want to contribute, meaning of life etc etc.

I think we all can agree on the statement that it´s a good thing to take a break from time to time to think. To think our own thoughts. To disconnect for a while. To turn off the computer and cellphone and get to know yourself. Hang out with yourself, in your head. Sure I have friends that told me they are afraid of being alone with their thoughts because they don´t think they could handle it. So it´s just easier to put a lid on it and just don´t think about it. Because who knows what would happen!?

I love thinking but I don´t take the time to do it. I´ve been trying a bit of meditation because I really do believe that it´s a good thing. And yes it helped me a lot when I really needed it. But then I quit. I´d love to get it as a routine though.

Here´s the deal: I´ve accepted a challenge to be quiet for 10 days straight this summer. I applied for a meditation course called Vipassana in Sweden and guess what?! I got accepted!! =) It´s totally free and is basically 10 days of meditation from morning to bedtime. You wake up around 04.00 and go to bed about 21.00. The whole day is full of meditation. You´re not allowed to talk to people but with your teacher. No cellphones, no computers, no pen and paper, no workout, no stimuli for the brain, no nothing! You´re not even allowed to look people in the eyes. This retreat is all about you and your head, your thoughts, you. It´s a journey inside you, inside your brain, inside your personality, inside whatever defines you. It´s about time to take a very very close look at who I am, what my thoughts are and what my thoughts will become.

vipassana

How will I handle 10 days in silence? I have no idea. I consider myself as a strong person both physically and mentally so I´m not super worried about it. Doing the military service and working for the Swedish Armed Forces was sometimes very challenging physically and sometimes mentally, but I do believe that this will be one of the toughest challenges mentally so far in my life. I´ve heard about people crying and panicking and having a really hard time dealing with all the thoughts coming up.

I think I will cry during these 10 days. I think I will struggle a lot with just sitting still. I don´t have a diagnosis of ADHD but my patience is not very good when bored. And I get very bored very easily. I will probably laugh a little bit about the whole thing. I will probably think it was a fucking stupid idea from time to time. But I know I´m a super stubborn person. I will do it and i will finish it. And I´m pretty sure that I afterwards will revalue many things in life, I think I will appreciate more things and appreciate it even higher. I think I´ll get to know the real me on a whole new level. I think I´ll become stronger mentally and I think it will be a very interesting experience. But I really have no idea – I will welcome whatever happens and I´ll try to embrace it and learn from it, whatever it is.

Have you ever done anything similar? What´s your thoughts about it? Would you dare to?

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